our sweet boy, Atlas Ford Maikut, quickly made his way into the world on July 5th, 2018 at 8:42 PM. i still can’t believe he is here and that he is ours. or that my water broke walking into Hobby Lobby. i don’t have the right words, and i don’t know if i ever will, but our hearts are wrecked forever, and we are so grateful to be his parents.
i’m writing this to look back on the day that changed my life. the day i became a mom to the sweetest gift from heaven. i never felt i was born to be a mom until that day, and i always want to remember it. when he is older i want him to read this and know how much love and light was in the world on the day he arrived. that a double-rainbow stretched across the sky just before sunset and he arrived.
i also really want to share this special day with all of you reading this. to all of you who held up your foam fingers for me the past 9 months. from the bottom of my heart, your love and kindness will forever be etched into my story with gratitude.
now for Atlas Ford’s birth story!
although his due date wasn’t for another two weeks, i just kept telling myself i didn’t want to have him on the 4th of July. we were smoking ribs with friends, and there is nothing i love more than ribs! sounds so silly, but thinking back, my body must have known labor was close. i was just… over it.
the next morning i wanted to run to Hobby Lobby to grab a few last minute things for his nursery. Nick was supposed to leave for Boulder for work, which i wasn’t super happy about because i had my weekly check-up that afternoon. to my knowledge, i was still not dilated at all, but i just had a feeling he shouldn’t go to Boulder that day.
as I was walking into Hobby Lobby i felt water dripping down my leg. i was 100% sure i had just peed my pants a little bit. so i walked into the store bathroom to get cleaned up and called Nick (he hadn’t left for work yet). he tried convincing me that my water probably broke, but according to the birthing class we took, your water breaking first rarely happens, so I thought there was no way.
when i called my OB their office thought otherwise and said i needed to go to the hospital. so i drove when and when i got there Nick already had all of our bags and the carseat ready to go. i told him there was no need to bring the carseat, because i was sure i had just lost control of my bladder and going to the hospital would be a waste of time and money. hello denial!
i read something online that one way to know if your water broke was to lay down for 20ish minutes, and then stand back up. if you leak again, it was your water. not sure if there is any truth to that, but i convinced Nick to let me try it. i stood up, and leaked of course. i thought when your water broke it would be like the flood gates opening, but that wasn’t what happened for me. it was just small amounts every so often.
arriving at the hospital
i was still in denial, wasn’t having any contractions, but Nick made me go to the hospital. they tested what i thought was pee and said it was indeed amniotic fluid. somehow it still didn’t register with me, and Nick was like babe, today’s the day! so i shifted from denial to shock, and was pretty terrified to be honest. i remember i just started shaking, thinking “wait, what?”
although the machine i was hooked up to said i was having small contractions, i wasn’t feeling anything. so we walked the hospital floor, trying to get my body to go into labor on its own. no luck. the medical staff wanted to get labor going, so i took misoprostol to dilate my cervix and boy did it work!
looking back i probably would’ve opted for pitocin, or gave my body more time to start labor on its own. my contractions hit me hard and fast. i just kept telling Nick it felt like i had to poop, because that’s exactly what it felt like!
the contractions felt like period cramps, except 100x worse. mine were right on top of each other, giving me no breaks. Nick kept asking me to lay down, because he thought i was going to pass out and was ghostly white. that’s when the hospital staff decided to give me fluids through an IV to help space the contractions out.
it did help a little, but within an hour i was dilated to a 4 and decided i wanted an epidural. if you are afraid of needles and think the epidural is going to hurt – all i felt was a pinch, but nothing in comparison to the contractions.
the epidural
the epidural took the edge off almost immediately and i felt relaxed. i could still feel the contractions, but it didn’t feel painful. all i felt was pressure.
they checked me again an hour later and the nurse said “you’re all the way dilated already! let’s start pushing!” Nick and i just looked at each other, excited but afraid. well, i was afraid, Nick probably was too, but he was my calm through it all.
the nurse asked Nick to hold my right leg back, which caught him off guard and gave all of us a good laugh. it was very mellow and peaceful, and nothing like you see in the movies. just myself, Nick, and the nurse. i pushed, and pushed, and within the hour Atlas was ready to make his appearance.
his arrival
i obviously labored/pushed faster than any of the nurses anticipated since it was my first baby, but they paged the on-call doctor (mine had left for her summer vacation that morning!) to get to the hospital. in the meantime, the nurses and resident doctor told me to “stop pushing”… HA. the pressure was so intense and i started to feel pain, our boy was ready, whether or not the medical team was.
it had been 30ish minutes and i told Nick i couldn’t not push anymore. it was awful. he advocated for me and asked the resident doctor if she was able to deliver the baby. when she said yes, he said well okay then let’s go! the team swooped in and within 2 pushes (and 1 big scream, yeah, epidural and all, i felt that part) he was here, perfect, healthy, and in our arms. our Atlas Ford.
holding him for the first time. it felt like magic. but i’m not even sure that word does it justice. it was Heaven on earth. his sweet sounds and smell. it truly is the moment that changes everything. your dna. your heart. all changed. forever.
Atlas Ford Maikut. this is your birth story. this is our story of becoming parents. the best day of my life. your dad and i love you endlessly, unconditionally, and are so grateful you are ours.
