As I sit here reflecting on the birth of our sweet boy, my heart is overwhelmed with joy and gratitude. The biggest fear that hovered over me with this pregnancy wasn’t giving birth for the second time, but questioning how my heart could love another human as much as Atlas Ford. And then after that final push, I heard those cries, and my heart was wrecked again, doubling in size within a moment, just like everyone reassured me it would.
This is Asher Ridge’s birth story.
If you follow along on Instagram, then you know I had all of the preterm labor things starting around 34-35 weeks. I was dilated to a 3.5 and 80% effaced, having contractions pretty consistently, basically all of the pre-term labor signs you could think of. I kept having what is called prodromal labor, but wasn’t in active labor. To be on the safe side, we decided to do the steroid shots for baby’s lungs in case he decided to come before he was full-term.
Fast forward a few weeks and a whole lot of back pain later, I was still only 3.5 cm dilated and 80% effaced. I planned on doing a membrane sweep at my 39 week appointment the next day. I was so ready, and not ready at the same time, for baby boy to get here.
The day before my 39 week appointment I wasn’t having any contractions, just terrible lightning crotch and felt very over it. So I ate a spicy lunch. Nothing. I tried pumping one boob (nipple stimulation) and had one contraction, but then nothing. I went for a walk. Nothing. Later in the afternoon I laid down with Atlas to watch a movie and fell asleep for 30 minutes or so.
When I woke up around 4:30 I went to the bathroom, and when I went back to the kitchen, I noticed I leaked a bit. I didn’t think much of it and just changed my shorts and underwear. As soon as I did that, I leaked again and my brain connected the dots – my water had broke! Honestly, I couldn’t believe it. The chances of your water breaking to kick things off is like 15%, and it happened with both of my pregnancies!
Just like the last time my water broke, I wasn’t 100% sure and kind of in denial. I read that if you think your water broke, you should lay down, and then get up and walk around without bottoms on to see if you leak fluids again. I did that, and sure enough, was leaking. I walked into the kitchen and there was a puddle underneath me, Atlas started laughing at me, Spike tried licking it, and I was laughing in disbelief at all of the above.
I called Nick and told him I thought my water broke, so he needed to make his way home, get packed, and call his parents so they could make the drive from Colorado Springs to stay with Atlas. I wasn’t in a rush to go to the hospital because I wasn’t having active labor contractions, and I knew once I got there they’d want to help things move along.
So I gave myself a spray tan, put makeup on, and curled my hair. Nick looked at me like I was crazy, but I felt pretty, confident, and ready to have our baby! After we were all packed and ready to go, we soaked up our last moments with Atlas Ford being our only. I cried. We did our bedtime routine with him and tucked him in. In the moment, it was so hard on my heart, but I’m grateful we were able to have those slow moments with him one last time before all of our lives changed forever.
We arrived at the hospital at 9 PM. Our amazing nurse had the calmest presence and a good sense of humor to match. We needed to confirm I was leaking amniotic fluid, and when she went to do the test, I leaked again and she started laughing and said “well I’m pretty sure we don’t need to do the test, but I already opened it so we might as well.” She also checked me and sure enough, I was still only 3.5 CM dilated and 80% effaced.
We started the Pitocin at 10:30. My nurse said some women just need a “wiff,” while others need a lot to get things going. Since I had a rapid labor with Atlas, she was pretty sure things would move fast this time around too.
My nurse checked on me every 30 minutes or so, and turned up the Pitocin. She asked if I felt contractions and I said I felt maybe mild ones (like minor period cramps, but nothing crazy), but she decided to not turn the pitocin up that time because she saw the contractions on the monitor and wanted to give it another 30 minutes to see what would happen.
Nick and I fell asleep for maybe 10 minutes, and then I woke up to a big “pop.” It was my water breaking the rest of the way. Kind of painful, but mostly just scared me because I didn’t feel that when I was in labor with Atlas. Nick got up to go the bathroom and that’s when contractions went from 0 to 100 and I yelled for him. I had maybe two or three contractions and he asked if I wanted the epidural. I said no, I wanted to go as long as I could without one and thought I was only probably dilated to a 5 within that short amount of time.
Lucky for me, Nick didn’t listen and called the nurse and said we needed an epidural. Our nurse was legit amazing and ahead of the game all night. She had the anestheologist in our room within 15 minutes. The epidural itself took forever, mainly because my contractions were so painful and right on top of each other, which made it hard to sit still or be in the right position to get it. My nurse coached me with my breathing, and truly, it relieved so much of the pain!
I don’t know how long the epidural took, but it seemed like forever. Let’s say 20 minutes. I was still feeling everything at first, and when my nurse checked me I was dilated to a 9.5! Which made more sense considering how intense the contractions were. The first time she checked me I was at a 3.5, the second time, a 9.5. All within a few hours and me not even realizing I was having contractions a majority of the time? I still can’t quite wrap my head around that. Nick and I couldn’t believe it, and he joked that he’s never heard any numbers of dilation for me besides 3 or ready to push.
To be honest, I almost wish I would’ve had the nurse check me before the epidural, because if I would’ve known I had gotten that far with no pain medicine, I might’ve been brave enough to go all natural! Also much easier to say that after the fact.
When the nurse told me I was at a 9.5, I panicked and asked the anesthesiolgist if the medicine would kick in before I gave birth and he assured me it would. The nurse called the doctor on call and she was there within 10 minutes. She wasn’t my doctor, but she was from the same practice and was so chill. I hadn’t started pushing yet, but she said “oh he is right there, a push or two and he’ll be here”
It was just the doctor, nurse, Nick and I in the room, and it was so relaxed and calm. It felt so different than it did with Atlas. Maybe because I was more confident this time around since I had done it before? It just seemed so much less scary this time. I pushed 4 times, and he was here. My heart instantly doubled in size, just like everyone said it would. His birth was beautiful, everything I hoped it would be, and it felt like redemption. Like the biggest joy I’ve ever known, breaking through the shadows of a strange and hard year. 2020 will always look dark in the history books, but I will always remember that was the year our Asher Ridge arrived.
